I want to be a wife and mom. Period.

All I have ever wanted is to be a wife and mom. I am not opposed to working but for me, I want to be a stay at home mom one day. Thankfully, with my Architectural drafting degree I can work part-time from home when that time comes. Children are not in our foreseeable future... but I will be completely honest. I have baby fever. Badly. And we are not even sure that we can even have children of our own. When I was paralyzed and finding out the extend of my spinal problems, my doctor told me I would not be able to carry a baby to full term and if I could, then I would most likely be paralyzed for the rest of my life. Add on top of that the fact that Trevor had some health problems several years ago that might make getting pregnant even harder. I trust completely that if God will fill the desires of my heart to be a mother, whether it is through our own children or through adoption. And my prayers lately have focused on me trusting in His will, and requesting patience.

Sometimes it is frustrating to even be in school when all I want right now is to take care of my husband and work towards that goal of being a mom. I keep reminding myself that I am so close to being done that I can almost taste it. May will be quite a celebration, for sure.

Since I have started working again, life seems to be speeding by me. While I know that this is God's plan for us right now and a way to help provide, I can't wait for this to be over. Or more accurately, I can't wait to get adjusted to where this is manageable. I am taking 19 semester hours this semester which turns into approximately 35 hours in class a week. Add working on top of that. I am so grateful for hours and to be earning money. But how in the world do I balance school, work, and being a wife?

Strangely, I am not really stressed. I'm not sure how to describe it. Seeking more hours in the day? Needing to reorganize? Discouraged? Something...

My classes were cancelled for tomorrow and since Wednesday is my day off at work, I plan on sleeping in and catching up on TV/Netflix, but I am determined to get a lot accomplished. I will share the fruits of my labor later. Maybe that will motivate me even more - having documented proof of what I did or didn't do with my day. ;o)

This too shall pass. And though it is hard to find the time to do everything I need to do I WILL find time to Be Still. I won't quit school. Period. It isn't an option for me. But I'm still looking toward my ultimate goal of being a full-time wife and mom.
It is so hard considering that very few of my friends are married. We can't really relate to each other on the wife/mom type of level and many of them don't even understand my desire to be a stay at home mom. Any encouragement and advise would be appreciated. I think maybe I just need to find new friends who are on that wife/mom page. =)

On a different note, I have discovered the beauty of scheduled posts. My last two posts were scheduled. It's so nice to take advantage of some down time to go ahead and type up multiple thoughts and posts without loading it all down into one random post(which this one might be categorized under - Oops). I think I might blow my monthly posting average out of the water this month. Not hard considering I have never posted more than 8 posts in a month. Ha. Now I am determined to post more often. Not going to lie, getting feedback and responses has been motivating me to be more active in posting. I will do my best to keep reading and commenting in my spare time(especially down time at school).

I'm going to call it a night but look for a post tomorrow detailing my day of productivity. =)