Contemplating...

I'm in Destin with Trevor and his parents. I'm enjoying every minute with him. Josie has gotten so big and she is honestly one of the most precious babies I have ever been around. And in March she will be my niece :)

I was reading the xanga of an acquaintance and was completely struck with awe, horrow, and fear as it made me think. The sweet girl lost her love, unexplained and unexpected. As I was reading, I couldn't help feeling like an intruder into her thoughts but I couldn't stop reading. I couldn't tear my eyes away. I couldn't help but think about me and Trevor. How completely heartbroken, angry and unwilling to live if that happens to me, or rather when that happens to me... I was stuck in that train of thought for a long time when it suddenly hit me: I shouldn't be so worried or upset thinking and contemplating the future, the what-ifs and the buts.

I'm noticing the small things now. The precious Trevor-isms. I love him. No doubt in my mind or anyone else's for that matter. :) I've found myself savoring every moment that I have with him... I'm just praying that whenever I stop appreciating and start taking for granted that I God will remind me of this moment and these thoughts. Let me cherish each moment and PLEASE prepare me, whatever may come, whenever it may come.

I love you, Trevor Race Allen Spence.