"I'm growing. I don't like it.
I'm growing, and it hurts.
I love You, but I'm tired.
Guess I've got a lot to learn."
- Growing by Wayne Watson
I'm growing, and it hurts.
I love You, but I'm tired.
Guess I've got a lot to learn."
- Growing by Wayne Watson
So much is changing, I don't even know where to begin.
WORK
I have officially moved to Hollywood Studios to work in QSR(Quick Service) with Trevor. It was interesting adjusting to working together but I think we are handling it well. It is SO nice to be able to have the same shifts and the same days off. It really has been a blessing.
CAR
The Patty broke down(yet again) today. We'll find out soon what is going on with it. Since we ride the bus to and from work, it is not as pressing to get it fixed as it would be otherwise. Right now we are just waiting.
SCHOOL
I am actually sad that I am not in school for the fall semester. But only a little bit. :)
I miss buying school supplies. For some odd reason, I just LOVE shopping for school/art supplies. But I know I need this break. Hopefully I will be finished with one degree by this time next year if I can get everything scheduled the way I need to. And then I will get to work on my second degree but I think things will be a lot easier once I get that first degree because I will have a (hopefully) better paying job and be able to take my time getting my second degree
ME
I am actually really happy with who I am and where I am. Trevor and I have been doing great. Enjoying our days off and having some really amazing dates. After all, we are in the happiest place on earth.
I am finally getting a good balance of work and housekeeping. In fact, I made a wonderful mexican dish tonight and it felt GREAT! I am sick of eating/seeing fast food. I want good home cooking. :)
I have lost weight! I have not gone back to weigh myself since a week or two after we got here... BUT I have dropped several sizes and lost a good many inches on my waist. I feel so much more comfortable with myself and in my own skin. I have always felt very self-conscious about my weight, especially when both of my older sisters are very slim. But I lost the weight and I am still eating good food. Strangely enough, all of this was without working out. I simply "slimmed down" my portion sized and chose to eat a little bit better. I haven't had time to workout with the way we have been working 50+ hours a week but the busy pace and the work has helped me slim down. And this basically runs me into my next "point"... :)
BIRTHDAYS
September is a big birthday month for my family. Trevor and I have birthdays exactly a week a part. Ironically enough we both had the same idea for each others birthdays, a weekend away in either Miami or Cocoa Beach. Unfortunately, since we don't know what will be going on with the car we are putting off booking anything. Most likely we will just be staying here. Trevor is also giving me a "makeover" for my birthday. I am going to get contacts again which I basically haven't worn in a year. He is paying for me to get a haircut and then I get to go have my makeup done and buy whatever I want that they use for it. I don't wear makeup much, so whatever I buy lasts a long time. Also, since I have been having problems with my skin - my eye in particular - I think it would be better to have better quality makeup. All of this along with my weight loss has me really excited, happy and comfortable with myself. I want to look good for Trevor and being at that point is so satisfying. Now I need to just keep it up ;)
FRIENDS
This is an area of my life that is really weighing on me right now. While I want friends, and I know that I need girl friends to hang out with and talk with, I am at a different point in my life than most girls in my life. I am married to my best friend and I no longer feel the need to have the "BFF" type of relationship. I have learned that there are many types of friendship. Friends for a Lifetime. Friends for a Reason. Friends for a Season.
I miss my "normals". The group of girls from Pinelake that I was constantly with during high school. These girls have been such a support to me through everything and though we don't talk every day and we don't all get to see each other very much, whenever we do hang out it is like we have never skipped a beat. That is the type of friendship I need. These are the Lifetime type of Friendships.
I miss my Alpha Delta Pi girls. These ladies made my last year at USM bearable. I hated USM before but once I met these girls I finally felt comfortable and had a sense of belonging on that campus. But very few of them talk to me. I understand the distance... but somehow I feel so excluded from everything that is going on with them now. They all bonded during sisterhood week and then recruitment... now they are all going back to school while I am here in Florida. I think that this group of friends could both qualify as friends for a Reason or a Season with a few sticking out into the Lifetime category. I will never regret joining a sorority and it was great while it lasted. I wish it had lasted longer, but like I have said before, I feel like I am at a different point in my life than most people my age.
I am making some wonderful friends here but I know that most likely they will all only be friends for a Season. After all, several have already left and the rest of us will part ways before the month is out or in January. It's hard but definitely worth the friendships that are formed. I will never forget the ICPs that I worked with in Tomorrowland. I miss the Europeans and their lovely accents. But the people I will miss the most are "my" Chinese girls. These girls have endeared themselves to me in a way that few people ever have in my life. They are truly kindred spirits who I have waited my whole life to meet. And I have already shed a few tears over them leaving though they aren't leaving until the 22nd/29th. *sigh* Such a struggle. I am not the type to distance myself or miss out on meeting people and becoming friends. But it is hard knowing you will have to leave them in a short time. It isn't like college where you will be with the same people for the majority of your college career. It has definitely been a learning and growing experience.
WORK
I have officially moved to Hollywood Studios to work in QSR(Quick Service) with Trevor. It was interesting adjusting to working together but I think we are handling it well. It is SO nice to be able to have the same shifts and the same days off. It really has been a blessing.
CAR
The Patty broke down(yet again) today. We'll find out soon what is going on with it. Since we ride the bus to and from work, it is not as pressing to get it fixed as it would be otherwise. Right now we are just waiting.
SCHOOL
I am actually sad that I am not in school for the fall semester. But only a little bit. :)
I miss buying school supplies. For some odd reason, I just LOVE shopping for school/art supplies. But I know I need this break. Hopefully I will be finished with one degree by this time next year if I can get everything scheduled the way I need to. And then I will get to work on my second degree but I think things will be a lot easier once I get that first degree because I will have a (hopefully) better paying job and be able to take my time getting my second degree
ME
I am actually really happy with who I am and where I am. Trevor and I have been doing great. Enjoying our days off and having some really amazing dates. After all, we are in the happiest place on earth.
I am finally getting a good balance of work and housekeeping. In fact, I made a wonderful mexican dish tonight and it felt GREAT! I am sick of eating/seeing fast food. I want good home cooking. :)
I have lost weight! I have not gone back to weigh myself since a week or two after we got here... BUT I have dropped several sizes and lost a good many inches on my waist. I feel so much more comfortable with myself and in my own skin. I have always felt very self-conscious about my weight, especially when both of my older sisters are very slim. But I lost the weight and I am still eating good food. Strangely enough, all of this was without working out. I simply "slimmed down" my portion sized and chose to eat a little bit better. I haven't had time to workout with the way we have been working 50+ hours a week but the busy pace and the work has helped me slim down. And this basically runs me into my next "point"... :)
BIRTHDAYS
September is a big birthday month for my family. Trevor and I have birthdays exactly a week a part. Ironically enough we both had the same idea for each others birthdays, a weekend away in either Miami or Cocoa Beach. Unfortunately, since we don't know what will be going on with the car we are putting off booking anything. Most likely we will just be staying here. Trevor is also giving me a "makeover" for my birthday. I am going to get contacts again which I basically haven't worn in a year. He is paying for me to get a haircut and then I get to go have my makeup done and buy whatever I want that they use for it. I don't wear makeup much, so whatever I buy lasts a long time. Also, since I have been having problems with my skin - my eye in particular - I think it would be better to have better quality makeup. All of this along with my weight loss has me really excited, happy and comfortable with myself. I want to look good for Trevor and being at that point is so satisfying. Now I need to just keep it up ;)
FRIENDS
This is an area of my life that is really weighing on me right now. While I want friends, and I know that I need girl friends to hang out with and talk with, I am at a different point in my life than most girls in my life. I am married to my best friend and I no longer feel the need to have the "BFF" type of relationship. I have learned that there are many types of friendship. Friends for a Lifetime. Friends for a Reason. Friends for a Season.
I miss my "normals". The group of girls from Pinelake that I was constantly with during high school. These girls have been such a support to me through everything and though we don't talk every day and we don't all get to see each other very much, whenever we do hang out it is like we have never skipped a beat. That is the type of friendship I need. These are the Lifetime type of Friendships.
I miss my Alpha Delta Pi girls. These ladies made my last year at USM bearable. I hated USM before but once I met these girls I finally felt comfortable and had a sense of belonging on that campus. But very few of them talk to me. I understand the distance... but somehow I feel so excluded from everything that is going on with them now. They all bonded during sisterhood week and then recruitment... now they are all going back to school while I am here in Florida. I think that this group of friends could both qualify as friends for a Reason or a Season with a few sticking out into the Lifetime category. I will never regret joining a sorority and it was great while it lasted. I wish it had lasted longer, but like I have said before, I feel like I am at a different point in my life than most people my age.
I am making some wonderful friends here but I know that most likely they will all only be friends for a Season. After all, several have already left and the rest of us will part ways before the month is out or in January. It's hard but definitely worth the friendships that are formed. I will never forget the ICPs that I worked with in Tomorrowland. I miss the Europeans and their lovely accents. But the people I will miss the most are "my" Chinese girls. These girls have endeared themselves to me in a way that few people ever have in my life. They are truly kindred spirits who I have waited my whole life to meet. And I have already shed a few tears over them leaving though they aren't leaving until the 22nd/29th. *sigh* Such a struggle. I am not the type to distance myself or miss out on meeting people and becoming friends. But it is hard knowing you will have to leave them in a short time. It isn't like college where you will be with the same people for the majority of your college career. It has definitely been a learning and growing experience.
I think that is enough rambling for today...
I am growing, things are changing... It's life :)
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